Due to a horribly suicidal mixed episode after my first TMS session, my doctor decreased my sessions from 21 minutes to seven minutes. They do three minutes on the right side of my brain and four on the other. I’m taking 150 mg of Lithium, 1 mg Klonopin and 25 mg Seroquel every night to …
Tag Archives: bipolar
First TMS Treatment
I could hardly sleep before going in but functioning on a just a few hours sleep is not new to me. They did a calibration and my doctor assured me that she would do everything she could do not make my dysphoric mania worse that has been manifesting as a suicidal mixed episode. I was …
Mixed States
So on my second day after Ketamine I experienced a dreaded mixed episode. I was crawling out of my skin and unable to interact with anyone or function. There is nothing like this feeling of absolute anguish. It is at these times that I want the pain and suffering to stop so badly that I …
Two Days Post Ketamine
So far it has been a miracle as I am no longer suicidal. What an incredible relief. Perhaps one you cannot even imagine without spending months with your brain gnawing on itself and leaving you no other foreseeable escape than suicide. Still, I am cautious as it seems like my response is common and that …
Ketamine and Me
It has been eight months of absolute torture that has included what they like to call “mixed states”. This is when the mind is screeching and grinding like metal on metal and suicide usually seems like the best option but you can’t even get your shit together to follow through on it. There may be …
None of the Fun 