I could hardly sleep before going in but functioning on a just a few hours sleep is not new to me. They did a calibration and my doctor assured me that she would do everything she could do not make my dysphoric mania worse that has been manifesting as a suicidal mixed episode.
I was extremely nervous but the treatment itself was more irritating than painful. However by the time I left the clinic I felted extremely revved up and twitchy. A really horrible feeling for me. I had to come directly home and just relax. About four hours later I started to feel normal.
By the time I was preparing for bed, I felt stable and fairly normal but then all hell broke loose when I woke up just an hour or so after falling asleep. Despite taking 1 mg Xanax as instructed by my doctor, I was in a full on mixed state and all I could think about was killing myself.
I took another .5 of Xanax and listened to some youtube meditation videos on anxiety and relaxation. It took a couple of hours, but I was finally able to wind down and sleep for a few hours.
None of the Fun 