So far it has been a miracle as I am no longer suicidal. What an incredible relief. Perhaps one you cannot even imagine without spending months with your brain gnawing on itself and leaving you no other foreseeable escape than suicide.
Still, I am cautious as it seems like my response is common and that it may fade at any time. So, I sit on what might be a precipice and hope that I do not begin to slip back. Or maybe it all comes crashing down at one time. Of course, this knowledge–along with my own personal experience that euthymia is never permanent–results in very cautious optimism.
If you are actively suicidal, don’t hesitate to exhaust every possible option regardless of what–be they well-intentioned or not–loved ones might say. No one else is in your body and no one has experienced what you have. I may only have two days of not crawling out of my skin but it has reminded me of what it is like to have hope and was worth every penny even if it fades quickly. It is like taking a breath of clean air after breathing in pollutants for months.
None of the Fun 